Excellent Advice on "Children and Gaming" from Dr. Alok Kanojia, Speaker at the Bronxville Middle School: Link to Presentation
Pictured: Dr. Alok Kanojia speaking in the Bronxville School Auditorium
By Staff
April 28, 2025: On April 11, 2025, psychiatrist and "Healthy Gamer" founder Dr. Alok Kanojia spoke with parents of children in the Bronxville Middle School about video game addiction, digital parenting, and the psychology behind kids' screen habits.
It was an extremely informative talk that included insight into why modern parenting "feels impossible" and advice about getting on the "same team" with your child about gaming.
Dr. Kanojia spoke about his past addiction to video games when he was in college and how he almost failed out. He also said his parents tried everything to help him. He said one of the key things he has learned as a psychiatrist is that "you can never be sober for someone else."
He then asked the audience, "What do video games and technology do in the brains of your children? Why do kids like games? Why do they escape into video games?" He said it's because "it is easier than real life." He further said that when a kid wins at "Fortnite," he has beaten 99 other players and feels good because he has accomplished something difficult.
Video games also give kids a sense of control. For example, in "Minecraft," kids get to build their own world. They get a sense of control and accomplishment.
Dr. Kanojia also said that video games are "safe" for kids, particularly if they are getting bullied at school. "No one judges you for how you look, dress, your weight, or other things." He said that games "provide a sense of emotional regulation as well."
Dr. Kanojia then asked the audience, "So, how do we get them to stop?" and explained, "We need to understand what the child is getting from this video game and then help them get these things in the real world."
He said parents should talk to their kids to understand why they play video games. He said, "If you are really trying to understand, your children will not push back. One reason kids play is to escape. If they no longer need to escape, the drive to play isn't as strong. If a child plays video games because they are anxious, we need to understand why they are anxious and then help them with their anxiety. If you approach them with openness, they will meet you halfway."
Dr. Kanojia noted that fifty years ago, there were no highly addictive devices being given to children, so that is a new challenge for parents today.
He then talked about how to deal with your video-playing kids. He said you should let them know you understand why they play and then tell them that changes are coming and that you would like their input. For example, the parent could say, "Would you rather have 1 hour a day or play from 7 to midnight on Friday with pizza?" or "You can game if you take care of certain things."
He explained that you need to focus on what things they need to be doing. "You want to show your kids that you can work together. We are trying to raise a healthy gamer and want kids to regulate themselves."
He recommends that parents start by shooting for a "small boundary" and enforcing that. "You want to move them in the right direction," he said.
Dr. Kanojia says his approach is to teach children healthy technology habits and teach them to be healthy gamers: "teach them how to swim, not keep them out of the water."
There is much more great advice in this video. To watch the full video, CLICK HERE.
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