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Max McGrath on Dad's Day: No Absentee Father--My Dad

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June 8, 2011:  Weekly in the media it seems there's always a comparison story between females and males.  Editorial writers qualify their agenda using the latest scientific research to credit one gender over the other as the primary cause of the species' four-million-year survival.

Indulge me with this scenario.  Fifty thousand years ago in a cave in southern France:  Wife to husband: "Lugnut dear, I know you're busy painting the cave, but the carrots and cabbages that the gals gathered last fall are almost gone.  How about you and your useless friends go hunt a water buffalo or a mammoth.  The kids are hungry."

The point of my offbeat example is that it took both genders working together as a team to get mankind to the point that we could purchase the Christmas roast at the A & P in a new BMW.

In my opinion it seems the media through news stories or product commercials currently paint males and husbands as bubbling nincompoops that their wives must watch at all times as irresponsible big kids.  The examples of these commercials are many--the grill blowing up in the backyard, snoring that breaks the bedroom windows, watching football while the wife mows the lawn.  You've seen them.

The raising of children was and is the innate primary focus of our human group.  It is the mission to ensure that mankind's footprint lasts in perpetuity.  We would not have gotten this far without the solid teamwork of a mom and dad equally sharing that very difficult job.  Their job then is a full-time one for the rest of their lives.

It is completely understandable that we as a nation set aside two days a year to honor our moms and dads for guiding us to adulthood and beyond.

My dad was a tough and loving man and, believe me, the old guy had his hands full with me.  I disliked the silly rules of authority and detested being lectured to, especially when told my opinion is not welcome in a discussion, even to this day.

Fred O. McGrath (my dad), being street-smart, knew how to work around my avoidance of authority and "stubbornness."  I was going to do it my way from the B'ville ball fields, to dating, to attending BHS, to being on my own.  After trying to guide me in the life-dilemma of the week, he'd say to me, "Do it your way; we'll see the outcome, Baby."  I hate to admit this Fred, but most of the time you were right!

The guidance lessons, plus his patient tutelage of the rules encompassing the social contract, can never be repaid to him.

Fred had a big heart and no matter how angry we were with one another I always knew he loved me and if need be would die in the street protecting me even though I had pulled a brain-dead move.  Of course, for all my dumb moves I received what he called a "tongue-lashing."  I endured several, not undeserved.

While at BHS I had several collisions with teachers.  Fred was always just in his rulings after hearing the arguments on both sides.  If I was wrong, I was set straight; if they were wrong, I was lectured on how to avoid future confrontations.

My dad was like most of the dads in B'ville in the day.  Growing up, there were hours of ball catching, coaching, teaching me sports, and hanging out when he was not busy shepherding the funeral home or engaging in his many civic responsibilities.  When I got hurt playing ball he'd say, "Rub some dirt on it."  I tried that and it still hurt.

I look back now and feel bad for all the bonehead stunts I involved him in.  Fred and Betty showed me the right road to a good life in a village that nurtured its youth.

Like most kids, I drove down my road most of the time always being surprised at finding an expensive toll because I refused to read the map or listen to the directions.

Most fathers are not as commercials portray them--painting them with a haphazard brush at their expense for product memory.  My father certainly wasn't, and I doubt yours was either.

Funny, in adulthood when hurting myself working around the house, I still hear Fred whisper, "Rub some dirt on it."  See Fred, I still hear you.

 

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Bronxville is a quaint village (one square mile) located just 16 miles north of midtown Manhattan (roughly 30 minutes on the train) and has a population of approximately 6,500. It is known as a premier community with an excellent public school (K-12) and easy access to Manhattan. Bronxville offers many amenities including an attractive business district, a hospital (Lawrence Hospital), public paddle and tennis courts, fine dining at local restaurants, two private country clubs and a community library.

While the earliest settlers of Bronxville date back to the first half of the 18th century, the history of the modern suburb of Bronxville began in 1890 when William Van Duzer Lawrence purchased a farm and commissioned the architect, William A. Bates, to design a planned community of houses for well-known artists and professionals that became a thriving art colony. This community, now called Lawrence Park, is listed on the National register of Historic Places and many of the homes still have artists’ studios. A neighborhood association within Lawrence Park called “The Hilltop Association” keeps this heritage alive with art shows and other events for neighbors.

Bronxville offers many charming neighborhoods as well as a variety of living options for residents including single family homes, town houses, cooperatives and condominiums. One of the chief benefits of living in “the village” is that your children can attend the Bronxville School.

The Bronxville postal zone (10708, known as “Bronxville PO”) includes the village of Bronxville as well as the Chester Heights section of Eastchester, parts of Tuckahoe and the Lawrence Park West, Cedar Knolls, Armour Villa and Longvale sections of Yonkers. Many of these areas have their own distinct character. For instance, the Armour Villa section has many historic homes and even has its own newsletter called “The Villa Voice” which reports on neighborhood news.

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